Skip to main content

How to make best out of the Feedbacks?

How many of you gave or took a feedback in your life?

How many of you found that process easy?

A few days back, three of my team members along with me, was sitting in a meeting room, though relaxed but internally thinking like - What’s the need of Feedback forum? Should we give the constructive feedback as well? How can I sugarcoat that constructive feedback? How will a person receive the feedback?

A week prior, I was sitting with my direct, thinking how should I construct a feedback so that she realizes her weak spots and at the same time do not get demotivated?

Then, last month, I was a guest speaker at one of graduating college and there I ended my presentation with “Do you have any feedback for me?” in the hope of getting a good feedback and guess what I got one – “Thank You, you covered well within the time”

Why do most of us suck while giving the feedback?

Now irrespective of which end of a feedback you are. What kind of feedback you want to give – beit positive or constructive, things appear to be difficult most of the time.

Has anyone ever come up to you and said, “Would you like a little feedback?”

Sharing some lessons, I learnt, over the time, while giving the feedback -

  • Address bigger need– What’s your vision while giving a feedback? A short-term narrow sight or the long-term broad sightedness? Now both types are necessary but answers to the question “What should Person X do more of and less of, to be more effective?” can be more useful in comparison to “Person X did this wrong”

  • Separate action from person – “Mandhir you have a flawed decision-making process” versus “I disagree with the decision you took in last meeting with stakeholders”
           After allsome actions may not be forgivable, but all actors are

  • Focus on patterns– Instead of labelling someone quiet, under-confident, self-centered basis one off incident or one-off mail, we should try to identify the patterns. Looking at patterns helps alleviate recency bias where we tend to recall and over-weight events in our near-term memory

  • Add an impact – Telling someone that she is visionary can be pleasant but telling that her being visionary saves company a fortune or time can be meaningful

“How am I doin’?” Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch would always ask that question to passersby on New York City streets, parks and subways. He would stop them and query them about his on-the-job performance

How should we ask for the feedback? Sharing some lessons from other side – when I wanted to ask for the feedback -


  • First & foremost, declare upfront that you are looking for an honest feedback. Let’s be realistic rosy feedback will provide both giver and taker a time-bound happiness while honest feedback cultivates the trust and embarks the actual growth

  • Now, I have this friend who has the talent of finding the worst PJs out of nowhere. Now, on the WhatsApp group, he will send the initial part of the joke and waiting for us to ask for the punchline. But none of us ping back and eventually he ended up sending the punchline, on which we send LOL, ROFL

           Taking a cue from this, many a times while asking the feedback, we forgot to set the context up front

  • Move Forward– Instead of asking “What do you think of our last presentation?” you can ask “What future lessons we can take from our last meeting?” The idea is to focus on the future, instead of past. Ask for the habits by altering which you can succeed. Ask for the work type which will help the team to evolve

  • Follow-up – Don’t wait for the next feedback forum or mid-year review or Toastmaster’s meeting. Instead, ask feedback, take actions and then follow-up with the person that gave it to you

Consider Feedbacks as a gift

You should feel honored when asked a feedback and hence provide genuine opinion but in actionable sense. How can your feedback help the receiver?

Similarly, when asking the feedback from someone, you should feel the gratitude. Take the comments in a progressive way and try to make best out of them.

One more thing, the above lessons are not restricted to the professional scenarios but also to your personal and social scenarios.

It can be as simple as rating an Uber drive or your hotel stay or a product on Amazon.

Popular posts from this blog

The power of visual storytelling

I recently came across this wonderful commercial of Canadian Tire "Wheels"

This ad was a slam dunk for a very basic reason - Within 60 seconds, message was delivered and hearts were touched, thanks to powerful storytelling

The ad starts with a kid in wheelchair, looking wistfully at the group of boys playing basketball.

What's Next?

Next day the same group of boys are playing basketball, but in a special way 😊

Pause reading. Go watch this Ad - Canadian Tire "Wheels"

Lessons - 

Everybody's Inclusion will strengthen the nation
Hardships can be ignored or can be celebrated together

All it took is just a minute to deliver this strong message

Next time whenever we will see Wheelchair or Basketball, we surely going to remember this Ad

This is the power of Visual Storytelling

Until next time 😃

Left brain - Right brain - No brain

In one of my previous post I mentioned how you can alter your perspective by teaching your left side of the brain - responsible for logic, to perceive things differently

Continuing on same thoughts - Left side vs. Right side of the brain, today I'll extend it to Verbal vs. Visual side

Left side, which is responsible for the analytical, logical approach, looks for verbal clues.

Tip - If you want to be a good speaker, keep nourishing your left side of the brain by practicing and analyzing good speeches

So every time you hear a speech or presentation, left side of the brain start working by synthesizing that information. Breaking sentences into chunks, looks into existing vocabulary to understand the concept

While all this time what is our right side of the brain doing?

Well it is trying to form some visual picture of the same presentation

Remember those good old days when our parents tell the story?

Once upon a time, there was a king named Paul....

Left side of the brain wi…

All We Got To Do Is Tell The Story Right

Stories have been an integral part of human society. Our day starts with a story - an excuse given to a boss for getting late and ends with subconscious mind cooking stories in our sleep.

TV commercial selling a story of person facing a toothache problem and how he is relieved with their product

A fruit vendor telling a story of why his fruits are the best and cheapest

But its not always about the sales

Stories can be memories, they are influenced by individual experiences. 
A friend telling us a story in reply to our Wassup

The art of story telling is the art of living too. The toughest lives will have the toughest stories. They yield the best memories and help us articulate our experiences in to stories. 

We all cook stories 😉 
We all know the art of story telling. Some of our stories are interesting and some are boring. Some are a plain lie (we give to our bosses). 

Stories have a variety of flavors to them. Flavors of joy, sorrow, excitement and many mixed emotions. 

And the one who empath…

How to Sell Anything?

Everyone is a salesman. We have been selling physical products or ideas or emotions since the inception of the time. Still most of us, including me, are pathetic in the art of selling. 
This post is about how to master this art - in three simple steps
Ethos - Pathos - Lagos (Formula given by Aristotle)
Ethos – Establish yourself by showcasing a prolific profile of yours - maybe your past accolades, superior track record, high end connections, exceptional knowledge, blabbering data etc. 
Pathos - Next step is to invoke emotions. We humans have exceptional capability of rationale but emotions cloud this capability. So try to invoke emotions of happiness, loss, urgency, ego etc.

All you need is to confuse your brain

We can alter our perspective towards anything in life by simply understanding the functioning of a brain which is -
      Left hemisphere of brain is for reasoning while right hemisphere is about intuitiveness. Interestingly, they do not interact with each other which means whatever right side will see, the left side won't be able to recall it and vice-versa
The Experiment A study was done where the split brain environment, i.e. keeping only one hemisphere active, is provided to subject Then an image of hen is shown to his left brain while snow is shown to his rightOnce the subject is back to normal environment, some random images were given to identify the relative images to previous two imagesOut of them, he chose chicken for hen and shovel for snowWhen asked for the reason of this selection he made apt sense corresponding to hen but does not know why shovel for snow – end up saying need shovel to put hen back to fence

Left part of brain is good in giving reasoning while ri…

Art of storytelling

Once upon a time really smart people were completely convinced the world was flat. Then they learned that it wasn’t. But they were still pretty sure the sun revolved around the Earth ... until that theory went bust, too.
For an even longer period of time, smart people have believed story is just a form of entertainment
Guess What? - Story, as it turns out, was crucial to our evolution
Stories have been an integral part of human society. Our day starts with a story - an excuse given to a boss for getting late and ends with subconscious mind cooking stories in our sleep.
TV commercial selling a story of person facing a toothache problem and how he is relieved with their product
A fruit vendor telling a story of why his fruits are the best and cheapest
But it’s not always about the sales
Stories can be memories, they are influenced by individual experiences. A friend telling us a story in reply to our Wassup?

I’ll share the framework that helped me (and hopefully helps you too!) in tell…

I want to practice Mindfulness, not sure how to do it

Image Source

An old man was teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he told the young boy, “a fight between two wolves. One is evil, full of anger, sorrow, regret, greed, self-pity and false pride. The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, humility, kindness and faith.”
“This same fight is going on inside of every other person on the face of this earth.”
The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asks, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?”
The old man smiled and simply said, “The one you feed.”
Whenever I fell into a whirl of bad feelings I remember this story, check my emotions and start feeding the good wolf. Start feeding mindfully
But what is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is... well... sorry I couldn’t come up with complex-looking definition, though I tried a lot on Google
So, my definition of mindfulness is doing an activity with your full mind to it.
Not very intelligent but it works amazingly. Think of it as doing something consciously.
You are eating while watc…

How To Conquer Insomnia?

It’s 1:30am in Delhi. I’m normally asleep by 11 in the night. However, since I returned from Canada, I’m up until — well — now It’s been a week that I am not able to sleep at nights. Guess the fancy word “Jetlag” is to be blamed for my sleepless nights. What if there was no Jetlag or business anxiety or rare days of gastroenteritis? But the inability to sleep was a daily battle to fight? –